不算经典的语录(微微色)

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  1、得到诊断报告:真菌弥漫性感染多细胞综合症,吓坏了。打电话给老爸,老爸听了我的描述,说道:怕个锤子,这不是脚气是啥子?

  2、我是个爱玩的人,别人经常玩我。

  3、警察来了,拉二胡的盲人骑上自行车就开跑。

  4、卖花的小姑娘拉着我,说道:大哥哥,买花吧,一看就知道你是花心的人。

  5、美女爱吃草莓,于是乎昨天晚上我给她种了很多的草莓。(隐晦)

  6、毛爷爷有先见之明,《纪念白求恩》说明了《建国大业》需要很多的国际友人来支持;

  7、放在任何体制的锅里一蒸,我们便熟了。所谓的成熟就是如此。

  8、喝可乐有害健康,我改成不?我喝雪碧!

  9、男人的事业是建立在女人之上,婚前为了结婚而拼事业,婚后为了勾搭更多的女人再拼事业。
  
  10、结婚是走进了坟墓,再婚就是盗墓。

  11、我他妈就是有钱,秃头我也用清扬!

  12、我找不到你的G点,但是我找得到你的B!汗死,又粗鲁了。

  13、昨天晚上我体验了一次作为虫子的滋味,一个女的说:把你浑身上下看遍,你真是条小淫虫啊!

  14、前妻钻进了我的被窝,对我说道:用习惯了更放心。

  15、检讨:作为公职人员,不该去娱乐场所。领导批示:不深刻;

  检讨:作为公职人员,不该坐在娱乐场所女性的大腿上。领导批示:深刻了,但是不诚恳。

  检讨:作为公职人员,不该坐在娱乐场所女性大腿上,和另外一个女孩打K。领导批示:诚恳了,但是不深入。

  检讨:作为公职人员,不能够和上级对抗,以后绝对不和领导抢妹妹。领导批示:下不为例。

  16、美女给我调戏下?要不,你调戏我下?

  17、最悲惨的事情,莫过于一个只能够戴A罩杯的女的戴上D罩杯,走啊走的,然后胸罩掉了出来。

  18、这个世界没有上帝。人类一思考,上帝就发笑。思考多了,上帝就笑死了。

  19、我把维生素片涂成了蓝色,当成伟哥的样子吃。

  20、一美女离婚了,问她原因,她没好气的说道:操!那个废物,就是个立交桥!

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